The Jass BStards are Stefan Kaye, Tony Guinard and Nikhil Vasudevan. They want to make it very clear that:
1: they do not play jazz
2: they are not bastards
2: they are proud of not having attended Berklee School of Music
3: they play for neither Emperor Minge nor The Ska Vengers, even if it looks like they do
4: they stubbornly refuse to write a biography on their facebook info page lest it be lifted wholesale to form the basis of an article and/or listings write ups by grammatically challenged and cliche spouting junior hacks.
The final word in beat circles, known to hipsters who know as the heppest of hep.
The Jass B;Stards influences include: old ladies with blue rinse hair, stereo LP demonstration recordings, unsettled dust, musty old museums in barely inhabited off season seaside resorts, the smell of damp cats, blue green algae, jazz cigarettes, shipping forecasts, bric-a-brac sales in small provincial towns, rock pools and life forms contained therein, lying face down on dew sodden lawns, cross bees, poorly translated chinese food menus, creaky wooden stairs, k.c. and the sunshine band, sad babies.